More Cows, Fewer Boys

April 11, 2012 § Leave a comment


“Quite the ride, eh ma’am?”

“I wouldn’t know, sir. This is my first time on a train. It is frightfully loud, though.”

“Ah yes, well one gets used to that in time. I myself find occasion to ride the train every second week, and hardly notice the commotion.”

“Are you a man of business then, sir?”

“Business of a sort. Not in trade, surely.”

“Why, that’s a mighty impressive star you have there, sir. Would I be correct in assuming that’s a sheriff’s badge?”

“Marshal’s. Federal Marshal Carter Morgan. And who do I have the pleasure of speaking to?”

“Most folks around here call me Sally Randolph.”

“Most folks”? Does anyone call you anything else?”

“What, such as “Mrs.” Randolph?”

“Heaven forbid!”

“I wonder what my husband would say if he heard that.”

“Well, let’s hope he never does.”

“Mr. Morgan! For a lawman, you are quite a devil!

“Devil, Mrs. Randolph? Oh no. Only to those who break the law. You may find that I am a delightful man full of charm, wit, and all the other gentlemanly qualities. Unless you, not you necessarily ma’am but just for the purposes of this conversation, were to commit a federal crime, and in which case I can prove that man, despite his claims to the status of “civilized”, is in fact little more than a beast that walks on two feet.”

“This is most peculiar conversation to be making with a lady, Marshal. Most ladies have no truck with beasts.”

“You’ll find I’m not akin to most men, Mrs. Randolph.”

“I will, will I?”

“God willing, of course.”

“In that case, you may call me Ms. Randolph, and you may also mind your tongue around me. Despite my ignorance of trains and Federal Marshals, I assure you that I am a lady and will tolerate no nonsense from menfolk.”

“I’ll let any such folk I see know.”

“You do that, Mr. Morgan. And do enjoy the rest of the train ride.”

“Alone? You wound me, Ms. Randolph.”

“As you seek to do to me, Mr. Morgan. A good day to you.”

“Ma’am, I believe you just euchered me.”

“Huh…and I believe that was a gunshot.”

“No, Ms. Randolph. Gun shots.”





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