A Crash Course In Crashing

April 29, 2012 § Leave a comment

The human body is a wonderful thing, capable of feats of incredible endurance and power. The key word, however, here iscapable.While there are those heroes and those titans of industry who can keep going and going like the energizer bunny, that is not the truth for the majority of humans.

I, however, am in that majority. That means that, not only did I just finish this book today, I didn’t even start it until yesterday, and that was due to being busy every day this week. Very little of my busy-ness was related to work or other noble pursuits, and I’m definitely going to pay for it this week. In other good news, however, I’ve begun the process of collaborating with an artist on a new project. Am I excited? Very yes.

Week 17: A Hero’s Guide to Saving Your Kingdom by Christopher Healy

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The Saturday Mornings Of Our Discontent

April 28, 2012 § 2 Comments

Yes, venting will occur. I will redirect the hot air so as to minimize damage to peoples and property, but there is always blow-back.

I had a female customer come into the store yesterday and yell at me (she was yelling, not to hurt me, but at something, and I was just as a good as the next inanimate object) for thirty minutes.

In that time, she complained about:

  1. eBook prices r.e.: and their relative increase,
  2. How we could possibly sell a physical copy of a book for less than an eBook (the short answer is black magic. The longer answer is capitalism, which is just another form of black magic). Sadly, my answers were not sufficient.
  3. How the eReader of her choice has terrible customer support ever since they moved support from North America to the islands. She not-so-subtly indicated that although they could speak English, they could not understand English. Because, if the British experiment taught us anything, it’s that English is reserved for God-fearing Christians who aren’t Southern Europeans, Black (or “swarthy”), or Asian. That, I can only assume, still applies in the 21st-century.
  4. How much trouble she had getting a specific type of eReader cover. Angels wept at her frustrations. Everyone else, however, did not.
  5. How much trouble her girlfriend has had with her eReader, which is not only a different eReader altogether, but not one that we sell. It
  6. How tired, miserable, and lonely she is, and how much she just desperately wanted to talk with someone Whoops! Honesty, from a customer? What next, liberal democracy in Russia?

I would like to take this moment and point out that of all her five problems, I, as a person who works there, could fix none of them. None of them are even close to the problems that I am able to fix. This is the equivalent to going into a restaurant and yelling at the waiter about the weather. Equally useful too, might I add. Well, unless your waiter is a wizard who’s desperately trying to get into Broadway and has fallen on hard times (hence the waiting instead of the more lucrative wizardly work, like magic).

To top this off, my roommate had people over who kept me up until the wee hours of the morning. Normally, this would just be an annoyance on Saturdays, except that I work today. So I get to do all this(see above) over again, but with less sleep and crankiness from the day before.

Oh, and it was snowing in Toronto yesterday.

Snowing.

– Angry John is tired and already needs a nap

Henchmen; Those Who “Hench”

April 25, 2012 § 4 Comments

Etymology is a wonderful thing. A henchman, historically speaking, was most likely used to refer to someone who worked with a horse or as a personal attendant to a king or noble, an important and meaningful position. It came to mean an attendant to a Scottish Highland Chief, and naturally from there, because who trusts the Scots, to mean “unscrupulous follower or thug.”

Thanks, Scotland, for ruining more of our language. Again.

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The Post In The Woods

April 22, 2012 § 1 Comment

This week has been busy (as they all are), and yet the grown man is able to find time for that which is important in life.

Week 16: The World More Full of Weeping, Robert Wiersema

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The Existential Angst of The Writer’s Life

April 19, 2012 § Leave a comment

It’s sunny and a nice day and I have to be inside while I write! THIS IS TERRIBLE.
If only I possessed some sort of device wherein I could operate a computer from…say, my lap…without being bound by wires or some such. I should totally patent that idea.

In other news, I need to stop playing the “how long can I waste time on the internet before I actually start writing” game. The one good thing about that game is that I always win, and winners matter in this day and age.

Oh, and check this website out. I discovered it today, and it made me smile for any number of reasons (hint: one of them is that it’s really really bad).

Shame, Disgrace, and Sorrow: I’ve Got It All

April 18, 2012 § 4 Comments

Rejection is part of the writer’s life, albeit a part I have little interest in getting to know very well. Well enough to nod hello when I see it on the subway, but not well enough to take it home for some drinks and cuddle up with it in front of the fire. As will come as little surprise, I did not win the Toronto Star Short Story Contest. So ist das Leben, c’est la vie.

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Crouching Hobos, Hidden Blogger

April 15, 2012 § 1 Comment

So I’m a year older (“me” being the voice of the physical being that is this blog), but I don’t feel any different. Well, that’s not true, because the changes I’ve undergone have been so comprehensive and slow as to render feelingsas inappropriate markers of growth. In other words, I don’t feel any different because that assumes I still feel the same as when I began: which is an un-truth.

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