Some Potpourri For Your Olfactory Enjoyment

February 23, 2012 § 2 Comments

La première partie:

Yours truly: “Ma’am,was this the book you wanted? Yes? Well here, I’ll get it for you from the bottom shelf. Not the top, or the middle shelf. In fact, I will even point to it before I bend down to grab it. Here you are.”

The Wicked Stepmother: “Oh, hmm, I think this wouldn’t be appropriate. I don’t think I’ll take it.”

YT: “No problem, here, I’ll show you some other things.”

At this point, the customer places the book back on the middle shelf, backwards, and with no regard for alphabetical order. I haven’t moved, and neither has she.

YT: “Ma’am, you did just see me take this from the bottom shelf, right?”

WS: “Hold on a second, I’m getting a phone call. Hello? Yes, I can talk.”

YT: “Burn. Just that, ma’am. Burn.”

La Deuxième Partie:

Visiting Author: “Hello, I am a local author. I would like to check out how my books are doing, and sign them for you.”

YT: “Hello, local author. I am a level three bookseller, and we are always happy to see local authors. Here’s your book!”

VA: “Hmm.”

YT: “I don’t like “Hmm”. Not. One. Bit.”

VA: “You don’t have very many copies. You should get some more. And it should sell more.”

YT: “Let me explain something to you. I work in the bookstore. I do not own the bookstore, nor do I buy the books. I am not even the manager. I am not even the sub-manager. I work the floor. I have little to no say about what books we buy, and frankly, you are one of thousands of authors we carry. If I had read your book and liked it, I will support it. If not…I don’t see why I would. Or why anyone would.”

VA: “You should get some more.”

YT: “…I’ll see what I can do.”

La Partie Finale:

We carry several occult and new age books, and on the back of the of the books on palmistry there was this blurb, from Spirit and Destiny:

“[Book] has made exciting new discoveries in the field of human sexuality in the palm.”

Frankly, Spirit and Destiny, I don’t think those discoveries aren’t anything a curious teenager hasn’t already figured out. With their palms.

IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

Et il est fini.

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