People Are Yelling At Me As We Speak

December 21, 2011 § 1 Comment

Yes it’s short, but see above title.

I should have done this before, but working in retail at Christmas does that. Here’s an update to Lovers! 

No it’s not finished, but again, see above title.

II.

The brightness of the light burned through Patrick’s eyelids.

Patrick blinked. And realized that he didn’t have eyelids.

With a start, he realized that he didn’t have any sort of a body. His consciousness floated somewhere in an ocean of light where he distinctly, and presently emphatically, lacked anything corporeal. He flailed about in a panic but, lacking arms, was unable to effectively flail. This troubled him to no-end.

Thoughts of air planes crashing and people dying did not once enter his head. In fairness, he didn’t currently have a head for those thoughts to enter.

“FEAR NOT, SON OF MAN. THIS IS NOT YOUR END.” A voice blasted through the flowing light, hitting him like a hammer made of sound. It was a male voice, insomuch as a disembodied voice had gender. It was certainly loud enough that is should have been male. Loud, disembodied voices shouting didn’t tend to be female, at least in Patrick’s experience.

“Uhh…hello?”

“FEAR NOT, SON OF MAN.” The voice repeated. “THIS IS NOT YOUR END.”

“Where, uh, where am I?”

The voice paused. “WHAT?”

“Where am I? I was in…somewhere, and I remember something loud, but I wasn’t here though. No lights or loud voices. I’m sure of that.”

“OH, WELL, YES. THAT.” The voice didn’t change but Patrick could tell that the voice was suddenly awkward. “DON’T WORRY ABOUT THAT. YOU SHOULD BE NOT FEAR-ING RIGHT NOW.”

“Oh. Well, I’m not.”

“OH. GOOD.”

Patrick floated for a few minutes, mentally unsure of what to do with his non-existent hands. He was bothered by the fact that, even without a body, he could still be very awkward with people he didn’t know. The voice apparently felt the same. The air suddenly felt very thick with awkwardness.

“So, what’s going to happen next?”

“WHAT?” The voice, still unchanging, was obviously surprised. “YOU’RE STILL HERE?”

“Y-yes. I’m just sort of…floating here. You never told me where “here” is, by the way.”

“I’M SORRY. I’M NOT USED TO PEOPLE LINGERING HERE. YOU USUALLY SHOW UP, WEEPING OR AFRAID OR SOMETHING, AND THEN I SHOW UP AND TELL THEM NOT TO FEAR, AND CHERON DOES THE REST.”

“Wait a second,” Patrick said, “so a bunch of people show up terrified, and a disembodied voice starts yelling at them? Is that really the best way to set people at ease? Scream at them?”

“WELL, IT USUALLY WORKS. THEY USUALLY STOP DOING MUCH WHEN I YELL AT THEM.”

“I don’t know, it seems kind of mean, all things considered.”

“I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT. I WAS JUST TOLD TO COME HERE AND WHAT TO DO.”

“And about that, where is here?”

The voice was silent.

Patrick dearly wished he had pockets.

 

 

Advertisements

Tagged: ,

§ One Response to People Are Yelling At Me As We Speak

  • Tanis says:

    Honestly you will learn to despise all people everywhere after working retail at the holidays, have you gotten the crying, feet stamping temper tantrums yet?

    Do you envy my power of being able to look at one of these tantruming bugs and say, “What? Leave.”??

Tag! You're it! Now it's your turn to write something.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

What’s this?

You are currently reading People Are Yelling At Me As We Speak at Published Just In Time.

meta

%d bloggers like this: