You Have One Unheard Message

October 11, 2011 § 1 Comment

Hey John, it’s your Body calling.

Just calling to say hi, ask how it’s going, y’know, touch bases, that sort of thing. You, uh, didn’t call me back last week! Haha! You must have forgotten, it’s cool. No worries. I’ll just let the knee know that you’ll go to the doctor some other week. Or month. But speaking of which, and just in case you didn’t get my message, he’s been really bugging me to ask you if you can go see the doctor. Like, really. It’s not SUPER important, though. The pain is totally not that big a deal. I mean, Left Knee just whines a lot, and it probably isn’t that big a deal, but, here I am! I said I’d pass it along, so here it is!

But yeah! Um, I’m good, in case you’re wondering. Which I know you are, but haha, just thought I’d say it, kind of a habit like saying “Fine, and yourself” when someone says “Hi” and you expect “how are you”? You know? Kind of like that?

*Cough* So, I was just wondering when you wanted to work out again. I mean, not to rush you cause you’re really busy, but it’s been about a week since the last time and we kind of miss that! Just you and me and the guys, working out and getting all healthy! Working that fat off! Not that you’re fat. Haha…no. Not that at all. Didn’t mean to upset you, Ego. Just…figure of speech. That’s all. No offence intended, real or imagined.

We cool, Ego? We’re cool, right? Hey, facebook me or something. We’re totally cool.

Yeah, but the actual reason I’m calling you now is, well, it’s business. I know, I know, I didn’t want business to get between us, and I know I promised, but I’m, uh, kind of out of options here.

I mean, when you said you needed more time to be awake, I was totally ok with that. I had some spare hours of sleep you weren’t using to repair and rebuild your brain, and it was no problem lending them to you. None at all. But, I was under the impression it was a loan and not, y’know, me just giving you a bunch of hours. If this is my fault for the miscommunication, I’m so sorry. Really. Mea culpa. I can be a bit of an idiot about stuff like that. Totally my fault. 

But I’m going to need you to…uh, make those hours back up. No rush! I mean, it’s cool if you’re like, writing or exercising instead of sleep. Like, I get it, my man! No time, so you got to make time. Totally understand. But when you just went on reddit for two hours you could have used to sleep, it uh, well, it didn’t upset me. I mean, we’re bros! Bros 4 life! You my man, man! But I was kind of low on hours, and when you just wasted them…I did not mean wasted. What you do with your time is your own business. Not judging. Totally sorry man.

Seriously, though, I really need some sleep. Like, a lot. I basically spent my last few hours on letting you go to bed at 12:30 to wake up for 5am. I’m all out, dude. Yeah, I know, I know. I wish I had more to give. I really, really do. And you know I’d give them to you in a heartbeat. You don’t even have to ask. 

Hey, I’m being a little aggressive here. We’ve worked it out before. Last week? That was cool. I was like, “Hey man, why not get some extra sleep on your time off?” And you were like, “Nah man, I’ll just play Mount and Blade until 3 and then wake up at 9.” I’m like, ok, yeah, I guess that works.” See? Compromise. So let’s work out another compromise, ok man?

Here’s what I was thinking. I was talking with the rest of the body and we got some good dialogue going. Some good rapport. We stormed some brains. There were team-building exercises and Styrofoam coffee cups and everything. We talked, and uh, I think we can work out a deal.

So, tonight, it would be really cool if you could get at least 8 hours. Your brain wanted more, but I shouted him down. 8 is enough. Well, it’s actually not because you have an enormous, did I say enormous? Not what I meant. You have a…large, no, a powerful sleep debt with him, and 8 is the bare minimum to not accrue more debt…I’m using words I don’t mean, like debt and enormous. Let’s just wind this back, ok? Get 8 tonight.

And, as my part of the deal, I won’t collapse sometime tomorrow in a faint.

Sound good? Think about it for a bit, and call me back bro! We’re so cool together, aren’t we? We rock.

Hey, we still need to go back to Montr-


*BEEP* Message too long. Message ended. 

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