Surely The End Times Are Upon Us

December 10, 2011 § 2 Comments

Goodbye, my friends. We knew it was coming. Not…that, which I’ll explain later, but the End. The capital “E” End. Time will soon cease to have meaning. Existence will be nullified.

There will be only Zul, until it too is washed away by the endless shores of oblivion. Look, ye mighty, upon the works of man and tremble, for it has been reduced…

to this:

This might mean nothing to you. You might say, “But John, I do not even know the Three Stooges. The existence of a Farrelly brothers (brothers and not “Brothers” because to give those men titles is to mock God) movie about them means less than nothing.”

No, for it means everything. The Stooges haven’t been popular, and I mean popular, since the 1950s. I do not think we have lacked for good stories that have not been made movies in the past 60 years, but I’m not in Hollywood. I still have a soul.

I have fond memories of watching the Three Stooges kick the crap out of each other in my grandpa’s basement, watching such gems as Malice in the Palace and The Three Stooges Meet Hercules. I…regret that this movie is being made. Not from some vain idea that I had some sort of childhood secret that could never be touched.No, I’m just sad because I used to respect Hollywood. They might have been driven by profit, but at least they still made the occasional good movie, right?

Sigh. Well, it’s the post-modern world. Nothing has been sacred for a long time, but it’s still saddening when you realize all your calves were golden.

At least the Muppets was good. We will take what solace we can, in these dark times.

§ 2 Responses to Surely The End Times Are Upon Us

  • Nova says:

    You mean you’re not super excited about a new Stooges movie?

  • Tanis says:

    I do appreciate seeing Snooki suffer but yeah let’s hope this suffers from the same pitfalls that Transformers and Muppets did.
    Too many non-stooges hogging screen time from the mains please.

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